#it’s one thing to feel safe and it’s another thing to not be super anxious

[rosicheeks]

If you felt absolutely 100%, no doubt at all, perfectly SAFE, would you have sex with a masked stranger for money?

Maybe 🫣

[kquil]

POLY MARAUDERS | HEROES IN TATTOOS ⏤FIRST PIERCING

REQUEST. : Can I request a chapter where the boys convince the reader to get her ears pierced and she cries bc she's anxious when it happens and one of the boys has her sit on their lap when it's happening and help her calm down. You don't have to but i think it would be super cute —@samanddeansannoyingsis

G. : fluff ; modern au ; muggle au ; tattoo artist james ; tattoo artist sirius ; piercer remus ; comfort ; sitting in sirius's lap ; slight panic attack - not explicit

LENGTH : 1.9k

“Did you mean it?” You ask in a soft voice as Remus swivels in his tech chair to pay you his full attention, one brow raising up at the sight of your fingers gently pinching your ear lobes.

“Did I mean what, dove?” He asks in his usual warm tone, tilting his head back to stare up at you from his seat.

“That I would look cute with ear piercings…” 

Remus laughs because how cute can you get? Especially with that curious look in your doe eyes. Reaching out his big hands, he pulls you onto his thigh and holds you close, staring down with his loving brown eyes to reassure you of any insecurities he suspects might arise. 

Somehow, Remus always knew what path your thoughts could potentially take. You felt like an open book to him, cradled in his large hands, stable and loving; ready to explore your pages with the simple intent to understand you further, as he’s already done with the few pages you’ve allowed him to read in your past. To you, Remus is safety, comfort and boundless warmth, not from the sun but from a thick blanket, reassuring and all encompassing, devoted to only keeping you warm — safe, happy and secure. 

“Yes, I meant it,” Remus whispers as he fixes the collar of your shirt, ever the habitual perfectionist, “why?” His gaze lifts and you’re lost in his honey-chocolate pools once more, “are you thinking of getting your ears pierced?” you don’t know if the lilt in his tone is to tease or a growing excitement for your potential inclination — he may have the honour of giving you your first piercing.

“Maybe…” he can tell from the slight hesitancy in your diction that you weren’t 100% sold on the idea, which brings about his own worries.

“You don’t need a piercing to be cute you know,” Remus mutters the sentiment into your temple before pressing a kiss into your skin, “you’re plenty cute as is…” 

“It’s not that,” the shaky breath you exhale is all too familiar to the brunette and he instantly knows your exact reasoning, he still lets you speak the words yourself, however, somewhat enjoying the show you unintentionally play out before him. It’s another cute display, one that rivals whenever he sees you eating something delicious, and can’t control your expression or when you get excited over something and hop in place while doing tiny claps, “I’m still kinda scared of needles…” 

The shame that crosses your face tugs at Remus’s heart and he puts a stop to it immediately. Holding your chin between his pointer finger and thumb he directs your stare to meet his own, “don’t feel ashamed of that, sweetheart. Being afraid is normal and, in some instances, keeps people alive and safe. It’s unfortunate but fear led you to the boys and me,” he hates to remind you of that fateful night but— “and now I don’t think we can live without you,” the two of you share a laugh at that.

The boys were truly grateful to you for many things. You may not know it but whenever angry, sad or stressed all they had to do was look at you, see your smiling face, hear your twinkling laugh and bask in the brightness you exude just to feel right again. You bring about an equilibrium that they are so often tipped off of, never totally right or sane when you are gone too long. 

“I—…I still don’t know,” 

“Try this,” Remus leans back to pose his hypothetical, “forget the needle and the pain, would you still like to wear earrings?” your enthusiastic nod is answer enough, “then…—“ from the corner of his eye, Sirius walks past the doorway and Remus calls for him. 

“How may I help you and our princess, Moony?” Sirius asks with a practised smiling voice as he shoots you a wink.

“Do you mind fetching the earring jewellery samples?” Sirius raises a brow but asks no questions and nods before disappearing again. While he’s gone, you stare up at Remus, who doesn’t say a word but smiles and lovingly tucks a stray hair behind your ear. Not long after, Sirius returns with a small set of samples in a rectangular wooden box, lined with red velvet and showcasing a small but beautiful variety of jewellery. 

“Aren’t they beautiful?”

“They’re very beautiful, Rem,” you reply, awing at their delicate designs and sparkling appearance. 

“Pick a favourite pair,” he prompts and without hesitation, you pick the two that immediately caught your eye. 

“Great choice, doll,” Sirius praises as Remus hands back the sample set and gives him a look, communicating his next steps. There was no debate and Sirius accepted everything without any questions, “we’ll reserve them for you,” Sirius smiles softly and quickly leaves to do just that before you can utter any word of protest. 

“Tell us when you’re ready, and we’ll make it happen so that you’re as comfortable as can be throughout,”

Every time you visit the boys at their tattoo studio, they let you have the reserved piercings to look over and contemplate your decision with. They were perfectly happy to wait however long you needed and never pushed you towards a decision, they even expressed that it was perfectly okay for you to change your mind and withdraw from the idea altogether. 

“You know,” James pipes up with a mouthful of food that Remus quickly reprimands him for, “you don’t need to get a piercing to wear earrings,” 

“That’s right, there are other alternatives out there, dollface,” Sirius adds, licking his lips with a content smile, always a lover for your cooking, “you can wear clip on earrings instead,”

You appreciate their concern and thoughtfulness but you still want to get a piercing. It felt like a right of passage for all girls and you wanted to be a part of it, clip-ons didn't feel the same and you wanted to be able to pair your earrings with an outfit like some of your friends do. Shaking your head with a polite smile, you turn to Remus, “You’ll be doing my piercing, right, Rem?” 

“That’s right, dove,”

Timidly, you meet his kind eyes, “will you be able to hold me when you do it?” Your shy statement was all they needed to realise what was holding you back. They felt so stupid for not realising it sooner but, thankfully, they knew how to help you now. 

“I’m afraid not, sweetheart,” Remus coos softly at your disappointed expression but James and Sirius don’t let you wear it for long. 

“But Prongs and I can hold you for as long as you need, doll!” Sirius smiles as James grins toothily beside him. 

“Just take your pick on whose lap you think will be more comfortable!” James laughs with Sirius as he throws his arm over his friend’s shoulders. 

“In that case,” you turn towards Remus with a smile once more, “when is the next available time I can set up an appointment?”

It was in the afternoon when you found yourself seated on Sirius’s lap as Remus prepared to pierce your ears. James, to his dismay, had an appointment for a tattoo so Sirius won lap rights by default, which he was all too proud to have won. 

In preparation for the piercings, Sirius helped tie your hair up so that your ears were free of their awning, he did this while Remus prepared his tools, put on his gloves and got started on a small aftercare kit for you to take home — as was customary of their studio to provide for all their customers. With Sirius’s arms comfortingly wrapped around your waist, he pressed you close so that you could feel the heat from his chest against your back and allowed him access to your neck, where he placed a soft kiss.

After a while, Remus walks over with a soft look on his face and a sanitising wipe in a gloved hand, “you two look cosy,” he comments while gently cleansing your lobes with the wipe and throwing it away in a nearby bin. 

“Our princess deserves it,” Sirius comments, his hot breath tickling your neck and making you giggle as Remus agrees.

“That she does,” leaning back, the tall brunette sits in his tech chair and pulls up a small handheld mirror and pen, “now, dove, I need you to tell me where you want your piercing. Do you want it a little higher? Right in the middle or a little lower, here?” In the mirror he holds in front of you, you see him point out where the potential piercing can go with the tip of his pen, “I want to do it perfectly for you,” he smiles warmly behind the mirror, which carries in his voice — soft and sweet.

“And if you want more piercings in the future, you can make room for them now,” Sirius adds from behind you. 

“I want it right in the middle please, Rem,” 

“Of course,” he nods and places the markings softly onto your lobe before holding up the mirror again for your final approval.

“W-won’t the pen make the sanitising pointless,” you comment, shy of your scrutiny; Remus was the expert, afterall. 

“Don’t worry, dove,” he kisses your forehead before holding up the capped pen, “this is a surgical skin marker and it’s used in surgeries to mark out incision lines,” your apprehended by his gentle tone and warm voice, calming your heart that had slowly begun to race with anticipation, “the ink is made of gentian violet, which has antifungal properties so it won’t affect the sterility of the marked area,”

When you nod in understanding, Remus kisses your forehead once more and goes to store away the pen before finally getting started on your piercing.

“It’ll be okay, sweetheart,” Sirius whispers into your hair when he hears the unsteady shake in your breaths — Remus had just sat down across from you in his tech chair with a needle in hand and a small stopper in the other. 

“Look away, darling… close your eyes,” Remus prompts when he sees your breathing pick up at the sight of the needle in his hand. He is completely ignored and nods at the tattooist behind you, “Sirius, can you help our angel?”

You feel Sirius kiss your temple as his arms give you a small squeeze. His weight, warmth and smell surrounds your senses and the boys helpfully guide your breathing until you are finally able to relax. The tension leaves your body and you finally close your eyes, apologising for your small episode. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for, dove,” Remus whispers softly in front of you, “but I’m gonna have to ask you to take a deep breath for me,” you do as he says, breathing deep and slow, “good girl…”

There’s a small pinch in your right lobe that quickly dulls into numbness before Remus secures something behind it and a lingering weight is left. You feel Sirius kiss the slope of your shoulder, muttering soft praises as he does so. There’s some shuffling before you feel Remus take his place before you again. 

“One more time, dove, take a deep breath…” he gently commands as you easily follow. There’s another small pinch but in your left lobe this time. Again, Remus secures something behind it and as the numbness lingers so does an added weight. 

Your eyes flutter open just as Remus presses a kiss onto your forehead, “you were such a good girl for me,” he praises, smiling and then holds up a mirror for you to admire the delicate earrings decorating your ears with a bright smile, “it suits you, darling,”

“You just keep getting prettier,” Sirius chuckles and squeezes you in his arms once more, ”well done, princess,”  

A/N : i went a little overboard with the writing, i didn't know it would stretch on for so long but i hope you enjoy the read! i'm sorry it took me a while to fulfil this request, life kinda got in the way but here it is! please tell me what you think!

NAVI. | HEROES IN TATTOOS SERIES

TAGLIST : @melinajenkins @astonishment @until-i-found-you @corp0real @sageskisses444 @celestcies @lovelydoveval @inlovewithremusjohnlupin @calums-betch @futurecorps3 @hihihi1112 @simpingforthe80s @yrluvjane @neeezza101 @chaosofmanyfandoms @susyelectra @fangirlninja67 @pagesfalling @thepunisherfrankcastle @axeofwars @imarimon @justkiyomi @in-love-with-4-marauders @chicken-taco-burrito @valencia-sou @feast0nmeee @lestat-whore @hvmxjjk @twilightlover2007 @diaryofabiwoman @woohoney @celestialfantasiess @willbedecided @lovelyygirl8 @iiirhiane-g @ghostgardn @mess-is-my-aesthetic

[beneathsilverstars]

been doing research on writing plural systems for sif+loop in mundane modern aus, and i think i've got a solid idea of what i want to do! specifics may vary by au but i wanted a base set of headcanons to vary from, so sif+loop being a system can be a background fact of my au musings instead of something i have to reinvent every time.

(i'm a singlet so if any systems have concrit or thoughts they want to share i'd be happy to hear it! i'm not like planning a fic or anything currently, but it's still nice to not be working off of misconceptions for my silly little posts.)

siffrin took over as the main host in their late teens and doesn't remember anything from before that. in their early-mid 20s their work/housing situation was horrible and when they couldn't take another day like that, siffrin split into loop (who kept the mid 20s memories, with a new personality) and siffrin take two (who remembers the 17-20 era a bit better, but then there's a big gap). between the two of them they were able to cope better and hold a not-as-awful job and get a shitty apartment all to themselves!

siffrin fronts more often on average, because they're better at quietly accomplishing day-to-day tasks. but if he gets too overwhelmed or anxious (think their mini loop-backs in canon) then loop takes over, bc loop dgaf about some of the things siffrin worries about, and doesn't shut down as easily. but since they don't bottle up their feelings as severely, they're more likely to react outwardly and make rash choices like quitting their job, being rude, splurging on little treats, etc. so that's why siffrin is the default fronter for things like work and chores, when he's feeling up to it.

loop is fairly aware of what's going on while siffrin is fronting - sometimes they choose to tune more of it out, but they can catch most of it if they want to, and sometimes siffrin will talk to them or nudge them to pay attention. since they know at least the basics of what siffrin was up to, they can usually step in pretty smoothly when they need to take over! and it's very easy for them to take over, with or without siffrin's say-so, though they try to ask if it's not an emergency (and if it is an emergency, siffrin is likely trying to back away from the front anyway).

when loop is fronting, though, siffrin is entirely away, dreaming in the void. loop can nudge them for a vague opinion or relevant memory, but they can't hold a full conversation and they're not aware of what loop's doing. when loop puts them in the front again they're usually disoriented and need a moment for loop to tell them what's been happening. and again, loop is the one deciding to switch; sometimes siffrin might resist getting pulled back if they're still feeling bad, or get antsy and start reaching out if they've been asleep a while or are having bad dreams, but they're not gonna react to environmental situations since they're not aware of them.

mal is in there too but doesn't front. its role is to be socially hyper-vigilant, pointing out when other people might be upset at them so the alter who's fronting knows to fix it or avoid the person. it's been around longer than siffrin, and was helpful way back then, but now that siffrin and loop have worked out an effective balance and are fairly safe, mal's behavior is somewhat maladaptive (ha!). it's not super directly aware of the outside world like loop is, not anymore at least, but it does get secondhand memories from both siffrin and loop. it actually sometimes remembers facts and details that sif and loop both quickly forgot, because maybe those details will end up relevant to spotting and avoiding future problems - but since it got the memories secondhand and filtered them through a particularly paranoid worldview, it's likely to misremember subjective interpretations as literal truth, so you gotta take its claims with a grain of salt.

it mostly hangs out in the void imagining fractals and whatnot these days, keeping an eye on siffrin while they sleep. it occasionally perks up and chimes in with its pessimistic point of view when siffrin is really upset - it can communicate better with sleeping siffrin than loop can. loop is not on speaking terms with it because they're mad that it goes behind loop's back and makes siffrin more upset right when loop is trying to shield him from the upsetting situation. but siffrin doesn't mind it bc it's just trying to help in its own way, and sometimes it is helpful to face their fears in plain words instead of avoiding them. and siffrin will sometimes ask it for help with like, puzzles, because it's good at pattern recognition.

there's also a no-longer-quite-dormant alter that presumably fronted for much of the body's childhood. they don't hang out in siffrin and mal's void, and they don't talk to anyone else within the system. but now that the system is more safe and stable, every once in a while something will catch their attention and they'll gently push to the front and start talking. as soon as their train of thought is interrupted they're gone again, and the other alters don't even remember that they got usurped for a moment, a la siffrin's bits of telling childhood anecdotes in canon. loop and siffrin have surmised that they exist, and call them the lost one.

mal has also implied that there's at least one more dormant alter, but it's from before siffrin-and-loop's time and possibly mal's as well.

if something happens that's so distressing that siffrin retreats into headspace and loop won't take over either, the body goes into dissociated autopilot. it will follow basic one-step instructions (such as "follow me" or "eat this"), speak in a couple simple scripts (such as answering "how are you" with "i'm fine"), and complete rote tasks such as taking a familiar route home from work or going to bed. loop doesn't pay much attention because that would defeat the point / put them back in front, so they usually have very little if any idea of what happened in this state, but it is possible for outside events to catch their attention enough for them to try fronting again. otherwise they'll be back next time the body wakes up. siffrin, on the other hand, usually won't front for at least a day or two after this happens, and will likely have forgotten the events leading up to it as well.

it doesn't happen very often since it's the very last resort, after siffrin dissociating, loop taking over, and loop dissociating. loop and siffrin don't consider the autopilot an alter because it doesn't form memories, have emotions or opinions, or interact in the headspace; it just follows where it's led, by habit or outside influence. loop has argued in favor of trying to imbue it with more personhood so it's less uncanny for other people to interact with and can get loop's attention when the distressing thing is over, but siffrin argues that if it can think that defeats the point, and they'd just end up with this new alter and a new autopilot.

past all that, the specifics will depend on the exact au; particularly the ratio of loop time to siffrin time will depend on how much siffrin works and how awful their job is, whether siffrin and/or loop have friends yet, etc. but i think when they're doing pretty well they'd be happy with siffrin doing work/chores and most of the activities that they both enjoy (since then they'll both remember it), and loop fronting for maybe a third of their free time to do their own thing, and maybe here and there if something goes wrong at work. and then if siffrin starts feeling burnt out, they swap for a couple days of loop doing most things and siffrin just coming out for an hour or two. siffrin and mal probably talk maybe a couple times a month, unless siffrin is really going through it, in which case they might talk a lot for a couple days. it also might be possible for mal to eventually adapt a little more to being safe, and start providing a wider range of possible interpretations instead of just the worst case scenario.

ok that's all! and as i said, i'm totally open to feedback. :3

[vgilantee]

I NEED omegaverse Price! Please share your thoughts on the big boy himself! What is he like during his rut? What does he smell like? What is his den/nest space like? Pretty please and thank you!

eeeeeeeeee! my big burly husband 🥰

so first and foremost ruts and heats in my au are a biannual thing like real world canines and felines. they generally happen at the start of spring and the end of summer, though like human periods, all sorts of factors can change if and when they occur.

all amabs have ruts, all afabs have heats, and for intersex folks it fluctuates between the two based on hormones and their personal biology.

heats and ruts can trigger heats and ruts in people nearby, and often packs will sync up at least once a year due to constantly being around the pheromones, but everyone has their own cycle

now onto my man!!!!!!

very sorry but there is no prep when john price is in rut. look when he goes in to a rut his brain turns off and he needs his cock in a hole. needs to knot and breed even if it’s not biologically possible. well okay, there is a little prep but it often is more spitting on your hole, and lapping at you with his tongue while pistoning 2 fingers in and out until he physically can’t not be inside of you.

he’s such a biter when he’s in his rut. you’ll be bruised and bitten and it will look like you were dragged through a hedge backwards downhill. and in those brief moments his cock and/or fingers aren’t plugging you, you definitely gape. which is enough to have him pushing his cock back in. it’s a gaping hole leaking with his cum!! gotta plug it back up and keep you nice and full.

this ask took me ages to answer because i actually have all of their scents bar gaz (i can’t think of anything that’s right) but more on that later if asked

price smells like cinnamon cigar smoke, ozone, and the way the air smells when it gets cold, and the bite of expensive bourbon. he also has the general musk of an alpha

his den is full of dark brown woods, making the room feel smaller than it really is, but also feel warm. the nest part of his den is all large pillows and fluffy blankets. he also has 4 standard sized pillows that you’ve each scented the pillowcase of. it’s shaped like an armchair and a catbed and he’s rarely in it alone. much prefers having at least one pack member close when he’s curled up. but when he can’t see steal one of you away, he has his pillows <3

i imagine it has similar vibes to an old fashioned home office/library except with a finely crafted pillow pile in one corner, and a double bed on the opposite wall.

in my au, dens are just another name for a personal bedroom, though they’re usually quite small when a pack has moved in to a home together. it’s just a private space because we all need that sometimes. it’s also a safe space. i know in the real world it’s just curtesy and manners to ask before entering a bedroom, but for dens it is super super important. for the den owner if you enter unwelcomed they feel imposed upon and anxious, and often for the “guest” they feel uneasy and almost nauseous. welcomes can be extended for longer periods of time, but usually it’s better to be asked in, or brought in.

[in1-nutshell]

With you now having young justice could you do them meeting a mutant buddy with the personality and powers of gambit from the x-men? (Also love justice league unlimited)

Mutant Buddy has entered!

Hope you enjoy!

Mutant Buddy with Gambit's powers with Young Justice

SFW, Platonic, Mutant reader

YOUNG JUSTICE

Buddy had been recruited to the Young Justice League after an incident with Gorilla Grod.

One that ended up a slightly sizzling gorilla, a laughing Flash, and a slightly burnt Lantern.

It was the two leaguer that managed to convince Batman to put them on the team after demonstrating their mini explosions with their deck of cards.

It might have also helped that Buddy managed to steal Green Lantern’s ring without him noticing it and giving it to Batman.

Despite all the confidence they rode on when Flash and Green Lantern introduced them, Buddy was anxious to be in front of these seasoned ‘sidekicks.

Their anxiety only grew with the looks and silent faces they were making at each other.

Thankfully, Buddy did know one of them.

He was their classmate in school.

And just so happened to be the one member who had just arrived late.

Kid Flash, Wally West.

He would later become the ‘olive branch’ to bring Buddy into the group.

Team that takes an almost instant liking to the newest member

These members believe that what Wally says about them being good is true straight away. While they are a bit cautious, they quickly learn that Buddy isn’t some one who would strike fear onto anyone. If anything, the only thing they are striking is their cards to any unsuspecting member who gets on their last nerve. Doesn’t happen often, mainly to Wally when his flirting and comments get out of hand. The members appreciate how Buddy balances the seriousness of certain situations while letting some fun lines slip every now and then. These members end up picking up a habit of carrying a few playing cards around in case Buddy needs them.

Kid Flash

Aqualad

Miss Martian

Buddy: “All right! 1…2…” M’gann from a safe distance: “Go!” Buddy starts throwing cards left and right while Wally tries dodging them. One manages to knock him off balance. Buddy walks up and offers him a hand up. Wally: “No fair! You put more kinetic energy in that last one!” Buddy: “Did not.” Wally: “Did too!” Buddy: “Did—”

SPLASH! Buddy and Wally blink feeling the water seep into their costumes. They look up to see a slightly giggling M’gann and smiling Kaldur raising another water ball over his head. Kaldur: “How about you continue with today’s training?” Buddy and Wally look at each other before smiling. Buddy getting their cards ready: “Oh, you came into the wrong game Kaldur! Ready West!” Wally stretching his arms: “Born ready!”

Team that takes a bit more time to get used to the newest member

These members take what Wally says with a grain of salt. They keep their distance from Buddy and their mini explosions. Since when does a hero do good with explosives? Some members have a personal distaste for the explosions near them. Once Buddy finds out their distaste for the explosions near them, they stop almost immediately. It’s a slow process which involves some missions and training time to finally get used to the newest member. These members try and teach Buddy different ways to defend themselves, so they don’t have to rely solely on powers to win.

Robin

Artemis

Superboy

Buddy looks a bit uneasy at Conner on the other side of the training mat. Dick and Artemis were watching from the sidelines. Buddy: “Listen Rob, with all due respect, WHY?!” Dick: “Everyone has to fight everyone Buddy.” Artemis: “Its good practice for future scenarios.” Buddy shuffling their cards nervously while looking at the Super: “Yeah but when am I supposed to fight a feral Conner? Conner’s a nice guy! Why would he attack his teammate?” Conner, Artemis and Dick look at each other: “…”

Buddy: “… My goodness… did that actually happen?!” Dick: “Buddy—” Buddy: “How many of you guys went feral on someone else?!” Artemis getting her comm line ready: “Buddy it’s okay—” Buddy: “What?! The next thing you’re going to tell me is a what if scenario where we fight the Justice League?” Everyone: “…” Conner: “Let’s just focus back on the training.” Buddy: “…Nope!” They throw a card to the wall and make their escape through the hole. Artemis: “Wally! Get your friend back here!” Buddy from down the hall: “I swear no one tells me these important details! I deserve to know!”

[babyyblues]

just some short and sweet pregnant!reader x daryl dixon (about 900 words)

please feel free to leave me feedback and show your support by reblogging!

warnings: pregnancy, mention of Lori, super sweet soft daryl and protective daryl

era: prison (season 3 episode 4 spoilers!!!!) (set specifically after woodbury joins the prison.)

-

After watching Carl and Rick grieve after the loss of Lori when she gave birth to the youngest Grimes, you and Daryl swore you would be more careful when participating in intimate activities. It hadn’t ever been an issue with you two, and a baby was something you’d thought you never have to worry about. But as they say, one thing led to another, and here you are three months out from your last period, and two undoubtedly expired, yet strongly positive pregnancy tests tucked inside of Daryl’s pillowcase. 

You and Daryl were anxious of course, yet elated at the thought of not only another little one running around the prison, but for them to be yours. Nights upon nights you and Daryl have stayed up far too long discussing baby names, having playful debates over whether it’ll be a boy or a girl, and secret words of love and admiration that fell through the two of your lips. You hadn’t yet told anyone, wanting it to be for just you and come out when you were ready, unlike the choice Lori had, but you had a feeling that your group had started to figure you out. 

Maybe it was the way Daryl would give you his portion of dinner which led into a quiet argument about who needed it more. “Y’re eatin for two.” “And you need energy to keep the two of us safe.” Carol began giving you a bit more than everyone else, and that’s when you were sure she knew. 

Or it could of been the way he was overly protective of you anytime Rick wanted you to go on a run or do anything for that matter. “Y/n will you go-” “Go where? I’ll do it.” “Daryl I’ve got it, I’ll be okay.” “No. Ya ain’t goin’. That’s final.” Rick instead began asking you to tend to the garden, so he might have had a suspicion as well. 

It could have also been the way Daryl’s eyes watched you as you helped with Judith, the overwhelming love and longing in his eyes as you cradled the baby and sang to her softly as Beth watched from the sidelines. “You’re droolin more than the baby Daryl.” “Shut up.” Yeah, Beth definitely had an idea. 

“I think we’re gonna have to tell everyone soon,” you told Daryl, as you slipped your night shirt over your head, turning back around to see his eyes already on you. 

“If you’re ready,” he agreed. 

“When you look at me like that, the whole world knows,” you said, making your way toward him to wrap your arms around his neck. His hands instinctively found your waist, looking down toward your stomach. 

“Can’t help it, you’ve got a little bump too,” he breathed, a smile spreading on his lips. You smiled back, bringing your lips to his before flicking off the lamp and leading him to your makeshift mattress on the floor.

Soft whispers floated in the air, Daryl’s hand resting gently on your stomach, your hand lost in the growing locks that sat at the base of his neck. Your eyes closed as you took a deep breath, reveling in the smell of him that surrounded you.

“Ya alright?” Daryl questioned, his fingers that had found there way under your shirt rubbing small unidentifyable shapes over the tiny bump on your stomach. You nodded, blinking slowly before looking up at his concerned gaze, a sleepy smirk on your lips. 

“More than,” you muttered, scooting over on the mattress so you were impossibly close to him. Digging your head into his chest, he let out a breathy chuckle as he repositioned his arms around you and the leg you had throw over his body, before placing a sweet kiss to your head. He felt the vibrations of your voice against his chest as you spoke but he rolled his eyes as he didn’t catch a single word you were saying. 

“Ya know I can’t hear ya when you do this,” he teased, moving back slightly so your face was exposed. He didn’t miss the whine that left your lips as your contact separated and you looked up at him with a pout.

“Whatcha poutin’ for girl?” he asked, placing his hand on the side of your face. 

“Was jus’ telling you I love you, didn’t mean I wanted you to go away.” 

“ ‘M still right here sunshine, now come on, ya need sleep.” Before you could disagree, a yawn ripped from your throat, a light chuckle following from both you and the man in front of you. You nodded, pushing yourself up from the mattress to reach his lips and kiss him tenderly. 

“Goodnight Dar,” you smiled before rubbing your tummy, “goodnight little guy.”

“Gonna be a girl,” he grumbled. 

“Keep dreamin’ Dixon, ‘s mother’s intuition. We can always have another.” Daryl laughed again a light shake of his head. 

“Let’s get through this one first, goodnight girls. Love ya both.” You rolled your eyes, kissing him once more before laying back down instantly falling asleep in the comfort of his arms. 

[peeponastick]

Touch My Soul, Pt. 2

Domme!Reader x Virgin!Uchiha Itachi  

Word count: 3.6K

Rating: Explicit NSFW 18+ Minors DNI

cw/tw: fem!reader, porn w plot skip to the diamonds for smut you horndog, name calling? (Hidan being an asshole, calls Itachi crow boy lmaoaoao), sappy and romantic, pining?, one bed trope heheh, hand kink, scent kink?, dry humping, corruption kink, praise, exhibitionism, breast & nipple play, cum play, ball play, dirty talk, cursing, use of pet names (sweet boy, good boy, etc), masturbation, not super intense BDSM D/s dynamics (reader is def a switch), inexperience & virginity loss (Itachi, let me cook), multiple orgasms, creampie.

Synopsis: Part 2 of Touch My Soul, (Pt. 1 here). Itachi is just a lil' nervous baby. The more time he spends around you, the more he doesn’t know what to do with his growing feelings. When you find yourselves in an unexpected situation, you take the wheel, ruining him for anyone else.

I really appreciate the love I got on my first-ever smut（╹◡╹）♡ (Yuji fic here). Wanted to follow it up with another kinktober addition, featuring one of my other beloved anime men.

I’m on a subby men streak rn and no one can stop me!!! Hope y’all enjoyyy <3 <3 

It was late that night when you heard two gentle knocks on your door that made you jump, butterflies fluttering deep in your stomach knowing it was Itachi at your door. The rest of your fellow Akatuski members surely had gone to bed already, making it the safest time for the two of you to meet alone. 

You hurriedly grabbed the nearest piece of clothing, slipping into your light pink satin robe that deliciously slinked off your curves, pausing in front of your floor-length mirror to wonder if it was maybe too much before shaking off your anxious thoughts and rushing to answer the door. 

You swung the door open to see Itachi, brows arching in surprise to see you in such a different light. “I- uhh,” he stammered as his eyes betrayed him, trailing down and back up your figure to drink in the stunning display you unintentionally put on for him. His cheeks burned red as he realized how indecent you must’ve thought he was being.

“I-I’m sorry, is this not a good time?” He nervously scratched his head, eyes darting around anxiously in an attempt to not ogle you any more than he already had. You had to admit it was adorable, seeing someone who seemed so composed and mature acting like a nervous schoolboy. 

“No, no, come in!” a smile on your face that you were unable to stifle, “Sorry, it’s just those robes we have to wear all the time are so uncomfortable, I’m out of them the second I can be,” you laughed lightly. He followed you into the room, guiltily indulging in the sight of your body from behind. 

As you cleared some space on your bed, he stood observing and admiring all the little knick-knacks and oddities you had scattered around your room, his eyes setting on a small ceramic figurine of a cat.

You sat on your bed and pat the spot next to you, signaling him to sit. He hesitantly approached, “You, uh, sure you don’t mind me sitting on your bed?” a sheepish smile creeping across his face. A giggle burst out of you, realizing how things could be misinterpreted. 

You shook your head, “It’s not safe to talk here,” you reassured him in a hushed tone, “I’ll use my jutsu to transport us into my soulscape, where we can talk further.” Itachi’s nervous energy dissipated and he sat beside you on your soft bed. 

Once again, you weaved the hand signs of your special jutsu. This time, you took Itachi’s hands and placed them on your shoulders before touching your forehead to his. He did his best to ignore the rush of blood and tingling nerves he felt being close enough to smell the sweet scent radiating off your skin.

You both were transported into your soulscape, where Itachi began taking in his surroundings in awe. You stood in a field of wildflowers under a cotton candy-colored sunset, an early-rising crescent moon in the distant sky. The magnificent colors lit up his visual field as he processed all the information flooding his senses about who you were and all you’d been through. 

He turned to you, an enchanted look of admiration in his deep brown eyes that made your cheeks burn, feeling flustered with vulnerability. You had never shown anyone your soul before and having someone see into you with such love was a foreign concept.

You cleared your throat, preparing to explain the inner workings of the Akatsuki, the intel you’d gathered, and the plan you were preparing to enact now that you had the piece you’d been waiting for– an ally strong enough to help you carry out the downfall of the Akatsuki and Madara himself. 

After that night, you found yourselves in each other’s room to strategize quite often, mostly in the late hours. The snickers from the other Akatsuki members rumored the two of you had begun dating and were trying to hide it. 

One night when Itachi was leaving your bedroom, gently closing the door behind him, he turned to find Hidan standing menacingly against the wall wearing a look of disgust.

“You’re always scurrying out of her room in the middle of the night, huh crow boy,” he sneered.

Itachi’s eyes blazed crimson “And what business do you have lurking around her door?”

Hidan scoffed and walked off, muttering his hateful thoughts about the two of you.

⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡⟡

The more time Itachi and you spent in each other’s presence, the closer you became. Though you’d only known each other a short while, there was a mutual, deep understanding of one another’s souls.

He had never felt this way before, heartbeat nearly pounding out of his chest anytime you sat close, your hand accidentally brushing against him sending sparks through his body. Having to pull himself back down to earth every time he listened to you talk, getting lost in your sparkling eyes, every flutter of your full lashes hypnotizing him further. 

He had without a doubt fallen for you, almost certain the feeling was mutual. His perceptive eyes picking up every quick glance you stole at his lips, the way you blushed anytime his attention was a little too focused on you. 

He wanted more than anything to make his move, for you to be his, but all his years of being a high-ranking shinobi had never really allowed him time for relationships. How could he ask for something he had no idea how to do? And worse, he thought, someone as beautiful and amazing as you shouldn’t settle for someone like him. 

He knew you’d already seen him inside and out and accepted him fully, his sordid past somehow not making your opinion of him falter. But still, there was the matter of his inexperience, or rather, lack of any experience at all adding to his insecurity. 

On a night you had gone to his room, your planning and discussion went on longer than usual. Upon releasing your jutsu, Itachi stood up to find a paper he wanted to show you. You wearily sat on his bed, drained from casting your jutsu for so many hours. As he rummaged around his room, your eyelids grew heavier and heavier, body lightly swaying before you admitted defeat to your fatigue and laid yourself down on his bed, the sight of his back growing blurry as the comforting smell of his bedding pulled you in. 

He turned around to find you asleep, curled up with a sweet, peaceful expression spread across your face. He hummed affectionately, pulling the blanket over your worn-out body. He paused, staring at you for a moment, smiling to himself as he envisioned what it’d be like to have the gift of seeing this every night, before tossing a pillow on the floor for his makeshift bed. 

Your eyes blearily opened, “Whaa-what’re you doin’?” your voice croaked, still half asleep. 

His head tilted inquisitively, “I just, umm, figured I’d sleep on the floor so you can be comfortable,” he replied with a kind smile.

You outstretched your arms for him, drowsily shaking your head, “Noooo way, this is your bed,” you lilted in an almost child-like manner. His eyes grew wide, brain short-circuiting as he realized you were okay with him sleeping next to you. You impatiently waved your arms around, ushering him to come soon as sleep was calling your name. 

Itachi hesitantly approached, crawling into bed beside you trying to awkwardly maintain a respectful distance. You turned into his broad chest, nuzzling up to him with a faint smile on your face as you drifted back to sleep. His muscles tensed, heartbeat deafeningly pounding in his ears at being so close to you.

Focusing on his breathing his body eventually softened, looking down at you and feeling pure bliss. He had dreamt of this moment so many times, he couldn’t believe it was really happening. Wrapped up in the warm feelings, he soon followed you into sleep. 

Several hours later, Itachi woke to an unfamiliar stirring in his pants, tired eyes blinking with confusion at the pressure he felt repeatedly nudging his pelvis. His breath hitched as heat flushed his entire body at what he saw. 

You had flipped sides at some point in the night, your back now against Itachi’s chest as you pressed your ass into him over and over again, grinding against his growing bulge. You were dreaming, soft whimpers leaving you every time your hips connected with his in your unconscious state. He couldn’t help himself from wondering if you could be dreaming about him, ears ringing at every angelic sound you made. 

He fought with himself, feeling guilty for not waking you immediately, but he couldn’t help it, every rock of your hips into him sent divine pleasure rippling through his entire body, his cock becoming uncomfortably hard in his pants, even with such little stimulation. He closed his eyes, fully indulging in the moment for a few more seconds before he lightly tapped your arm. Noticing, in his heightened arousal, how soft your skin felt under his fingertips, how the heat of your sleeping body projected your intoxicating scent.

You were deep asleep, unresponsive to his gentle touch. He took a deep breath, collecting himself before he tried again, this time tapping a little harder, “Y/n, hey. Wake up y/n,” his deep, gravelly voice rasped in your ear. Your eyes opened slowly, “Hmmm? ‘tachi?” your sleepy voice squeaked, “Wass goin’ on?” you rolled back against him, looking up at his flushed face with confusion. 

Your mind shot awake, finally processing what an intimate position the two of you were in, “Oh shit! I’m sorr–,” a small gasp left your lips as you noticed his eyes dark with lust, feeling the growing bulge between his legs pressed up against your ass, “Fuck.”

Heat bloomed across your cheeks, suddenly overcome with heady arousal, the masculine and fresh scent of his skin and bedding sending pulsing shocks to your clit. A gentle moan slipped past your lips as you slowly resumed grinding your hips against him. 

He breathed deeply, his nimble hand acting on its own, trailing down the curves of your body to grab onto your hip, “C-Can I touch you here?” his voice hoarse with arousal.

“Uh-huhh,” you breathily moaned. 

His hand needily latched onto your hip, pulling you in closer, both of you feeling a magnetic pull between your cores. You rolled your hips together, the pace quickening as you began losing yourselves in the intensity of the moment. 

His breath fanning the shell of your ear from behind, you drank in the sounds of his gentle gasps and moans, breath growing ragged at the overwhelming pleasure he felt. His vision going hazy, he tucked his head into the crook of your neck as he began humping you frantically, his carnal senses controlling him. His large hand gripping you bruisingly, a strained moan dragged out of his chest as his orgasm suddenly exploded out of him, coating the inside of his pants with copious amounts of cum. 

You smiled sinfully, turning over to face him but he avoided eye contact, his cheeks burning bright red as he tried to catch his breath. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t believe I–,” his brows furrowing with embarrassment, “I’ve just never done anything like this,” he quietly admitted, innocent eyes anxiously scanning yours. 

A switch flipped in you. 

You hummed, tenderly stroking his warm cheek with your hand as your eyes fell to his lips. You smiled affectionately, “I know, sweet boy,” slowly bringing your plump lips to his, pausing a breath away, smile tinging with deviance as you looked deep into his eyes, “just watch me," you whispered against his mouth before pressing your lips to his. His lips parted with a shaky moan, kissing you back hungrily. 

Rolling onto your back, you began tracing the hills and valleys of your curves with your hands, stopping to indulgently squeeze your breasts, massaging your hard nipples. He swallowed hard, his sharingan eyes watching your every move, burning the moment into his memory.

Your hand snaked its way under your shorts, fingers dipping into the wet heat between your thighs, letting out a soft moan as you ran a finger over your swollen clit. You looked into his eyes, biting your lip as you began pleasuring yourself. 

He moved his hand to gently brush a stray hair out of your face, wanting to have a clear view of your features twisting with pleasure. Your head turned to catch his fingers along your open mouth. You wrapped your lips around his thumb, sucking on it as you looked up at him wantonly, eliciting a deep groan from his chest. You released your lips with a pop as he began messing your pout with his thumb, relishing in the sensation of your luscious lips beneath his fingertip.

He looked at you, eyes glazed over with lust, before passionately cupping your face and kissing you deeply as you continued playing with your pussy, thighs shaking and body tingling with heat as you rubbed firm circles around your clit.

Itachi was devouring you with his eyes, your body and mind buzzing with electric arousal at being watched so intently. 

“You can touch me, it’s okay,” you purred between breathy moans, reading his mind. You grasped his hand, guiding it up under your shirt to cup your full breast, “Like this.”

A whimper left Itachi’s lips as his warm palm connected with the delicate skin of your breast, exploring your body with fervid curiosity. Squeezing the plush flesh and ghosting his fingertips over your nipples, you moaned in delight. 

You began feeling the sizzling electricity of your building orgasm, fingers rubbing faster and tighter circles around your pulsating clit. Waves of white-hot pleasure washing over you as you rocketed into your climax, the feeling of Itachi's clothed cock, hard and eager for you again, needily pressing into you sending you over the edge. 

You collapsed with a pleased smile, taking a moment to catch your breath before sitting up unexpectedly, motivated and ready for more pleasure. “Itachi– off, please,” you demanded, needily tugging at the waistband of his black sweatpants. He hurriedly lifted his hips to pull them down, fumbling as he tried to yank it off his leg not wanting to delay a second longer, then grabbing the back of his black t-shirt’s collar to pull it over his head.

His length stood fully erect, no longer restrained by his pants. His body was heavenly, like a carved-marble depiction of a god. Pale skin covering his chiseled, lean muscles, marred with battle scars. His cock was so pretty, the perfect length and girth for a delicious stretch, bulging veins dancing along the sides, messy with sticky, white cum from his previous orgasm, and throbbing with need.

“Fuuckkk, you’re so big baby,” you licked your lips, mesmerized by the sight as you wrapped your hand around his length and began stroking his cock, using his cum as lube. 

His body heaved at the sensation, a choked whine leaving his lips. He let out a small gasp as you thumbed his glistening slit, “Such a pretty cock,” you cooed, dropping your other hand to massage his heavy balls. His eyes rolled back momentarily in ecstasy, he could cum again just from the way you spoke to him. 

You brought your hand up to lick his cum off before crawling over him, breasts brushing against his lean chest, hips arched seductively. Itachi laid there panting, so overwhelmed with arousal he couldn’t do anything but let out needy moans as his wildest fantasy unfurled in front of him. You lightly dragged your lips along the ridge of his ear, breathing lightly against it before kissing the tip of his earlobe.

“Mmmh please let me feel you inside me baby, pleeeease?” you moaned against his skin, kissing along his sharp jaw and down his neck, “Don’t you wanna know how good my wet pussy feels wrapped around your cock?”

A shuddering moan left his chest at your provocative words. You looked up at him, siren eyes hypnotizing him. He nodded enthusiastically with a dazed expression, pupils blown wide with lust, completely drunk on arousal– mind floating out of his body.

“Y-Yes, pl-pleasee,” he hiccuped, struggling to process that this was happening to him in real life. 

“Hmmm good boy,” a devilish smile on your face, “just lay back and let me make you feel good, okayy baby?” 

You got off him, standing up and turning around to teasingly pull your shorts down, giving him a front-row seat as you bent over seductively, sliding them off at a torturous pace, exposing your lace-covered pussy from behind, a sweet little whimper leaving his lips as he saw the wet spot from your orgasm. Pulling off your shirt to reveal a matching bra, his brain malfunctioned at how exquisite you looked. 

You then began languidly pulling your panties down, revealing your decadent pussy to his eyes. “Ooohh my–" he gasped, "oh my god,” feeling the pulse in his erection as it twitched with desire. You flashed him a confident smile, fingertips dragging up and down the curves of your body, feeling his dark eyes on you, memorizing every touch and squeeze.

Seeing his eager cock, precum leaking from his tip and dribbling down his shaft, you licked your lips, pussy fluttering in excitement at the thought of being stretched by him. Crawling on top of him like a feline stalking her prey, you drank in the sensual power you felt as you locked eyes with him. 

You captured his lips in a sweet kiss, “Ready sweet boy?” you confirmed. He was more than ready for you, breathlessly watching your every move in anticipation of what came next. Your juicy pussy hovered just above the head of his cock, so close his sensitive tip could feel the heat radiating from between your thighs. He hazily nodded, head foggy with such unimaginable lust and desire he didn’t know was possible to experience.

You slowly began sinking down on his cock, both of you releasing depraved moans, delighting in the heavenly sensation of his thick cock sliding into the hilt, burying deep in your soaking wet pussy. Your hands splayed on his chest, feeling the rapid rise and fall as he experienced the sinfully wet heat of your pussy for the first time. 

“Fuuuuckkk y/n, oh my god!” he cried out, he gripped the sheets with white knuckles. You gave him a moment, a sultry twinkle in your eye seeing him squirm in unbearable pleasure beneath you. 

You began riding him, the tight walls of your pussy squeezing his engorged cock as you slid him in and out, strained moans leaving his chest. You reached down to grab his hands, bringing them up to place on your waist as you bounced up and down on his dick. 

“How does that feel baby, hmm?” your voice pouring out of you like honey. He winced in unbearable pleasure, “S-So, fuck–” struggling to respond between panting moans, “sooo f-fucking good” he sobbed.

Everything was too much, too good– the unbelievably gorgeous sight of you on top of him, breasts bouncing, the way your tight pussy was milking his inexperienced cock. Heat pooled in his lower abdomen as the pressure at the base of his cock began rapidly rising. 

He looked up at you, eyes flashing with anxiety. He was too enmeshed in the moment to find the words, but he knew he was going to cum quick. Sensing his urgency, feeling his cock twitch inside you, you leaned down to kiss him.

“Want you to cum inside me,” you purred against his lips, “want you to fill my pussy up, pleasee.” Your words rattled around his brain, the tether binding him to reality snapping. 

Every fiber lit aflame with pure ecstasy, his mind went blank– only a singular motive, his primal need to release himself inside you. 

His arms flexed as he wrapped them around you, pulling you in closer to his chest, fingertips digging into your skin as he began pounding your pussy from below. Sounds of two feral animals ravishing each other echoed off the walls as you simultaneously reached climax, his thrusts growing sloppy as he stuttered his hips up into you. 

Obeying your command, he plunged his length into you as deep as he could, strangled moans reverberating in his chest, cock spasming as he began pumping ropes of his thick, hot cum into your pussy in amounts he had no idea he was capable of producing. 

“Oof-fuckkk!” you mewled, “Feel so full, such a good boy,” you praised, your hand pressing above his cock, near the point where the two of you were fused as one. You rubbed his lower abdomen, tossing your head back in pleasure at the erotic sensation of being stuffed so full of his cock and cum, overwhelming warmth spreading through your core. He whimpered at your words, cock quivering as your pussy clenched around him, not yet wanting to unsheathe his sensitive length. 

You collapsed against his solid chest, both of you sweaty, panting messes holding each other in a loving embrace, completely drained from cumming multiple times. He closed his eyes, a satisfied smile on his face as he ran his fingertips soothingly up and down your back as you pressed kisses to where your lips met his skin. 

“That. was. amazing.” his smooth voice blurted, his ability to form coherent sentences returning to him, “Thank you so much,” he leaned his head down to press a meaningful kiss to your forehead. You giggled, endorphins flushing your system making you feel giddy with love, you could stay like this with him forever.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

If you read this far, thank you so muuuuch I luvv you!! ♡♡♡

[bigfatbreak]

Out of curiosity, do you think Lila is a compulsive liar? It's something I've never really been able to decide on myself as someone who used to genuinely be a compulsive liar due to trauma/anxiety, and your one of the few writers I know in the fandom that shine a spotlight on lila in your story

The funny thing is, there's actually a huge debate in the psychological community as to whether or not compulsive and pathological lying should be put in the rulebooks as a condition, since its something that can't be diagnosed. The real debate here should be the "WHY" of the lie.

For many people who are defined as "compulsive" liars, whether self diagnosed or by peers, those compulsions some from a desperate, anxious motivation. They want relief from something, and want to escape a situation or a conversation, they're avoiding SOME SORT of confrontation by lying.

Under this definition, Marinette could be defined as a compulsive liar. She lies to hide her identity as Ladybug, and would lie in different, nonsensical ways about her crush on Adrien (to Adrien.) These lies aren't created with the person lying in mind to be elevated to a higher social standing, but to relieve that pressure - with a lie, Ladybug's identity is secured, and its a way to cope with her reality.

(This is doubly confirmed as a case of "coping" and not of self-importance in how guilty Marinette feels about her lies, and how she hates liars - it's a form of self-hatred as well, but that's another conversation.)

In Lila's case, all her lies don't come from a place of coping, but a place of narcissism. Now, her writing has been contradictory here and there, but the safe things to state as fact are that: She has to be in the spotlight, she has to be liked by the people around her and admired, and if those aspects are confronted, she lashes out or doubles down on the lie. This isn't an issue of delusion, either, where someone is so far gone from reality that they believe everything they're saying with an absolute truth. In her case, she KNOWS what she's saying is a lie, and is pretending to believe otherwise. I'll put it like this, Lila doesn't have a condition or underlying issue that makes it so she HAS to lie, she uses it for her own benefit, throwing the argument out the window. The why of the lie is that she's a little shit, and is super manipulative. Lying is just the way it presents. She could have the exact same personality and attitude, and use other tactics to manipulate others with the same result - but because she's a child, the easiest way to do so is by lying. In short, I think she lies compulsive-ly to garner attention, but isn't herself a compulsive liar. Its a tool of manipulation. If Lila was half as rich as Chloe, I'll bet she wouldn't lie. She would have other tactics to use via the power she would hold. It's just a tool, and its the only one she knows how to use.

[ros3ybabe]

🎀 Overcoming Gym Anxiety 🎀

I got asked about this through my inbox by @sxfiaaa so I figured I'd make a post about it and hopefully help a lot of people with something I too used to struggle with!

🩷 Wear Comfortable Clothing

We've all seen the beautifully dressed people on Tiktok, Pinterest, etc in their matching sets and cutr gym clothes. If that is what you're comfortable wearing to the gym, do it! Wear it, and be confident in it! If you're more of a loose clothes/sweatpants/baggy shirts or hoodie type of person, do that! Wear whatever you feel comfortable (and cute) in, because the better you feel going into a workout, the more you'll be able to focus on your workout!

🩷 Know What You're Doing When You're There

This just means go in with a plan! You don't need to know how to use every single machine or do every single exercise known to mankind. Scroll tiktok or pinterest for some workout videos for inspo (please make sure the video you get inspo from shows proper form!!! Proper form is so important for being safe!!)

If you know you can go certain days of the week, make a workout split to follow that! EX 3 day split: Monday - Leg Day, Wednesday - Upper Body, Friday - Full Body

OR, if you just want to go do cardio, then plan for that! I didn't know how to use a treadmill, but I went to the gym at my university and stood on the treadmill til I figured it out!

🩷 Remember This

No one is going to look at you and judge you or think mean things about you. Everyone is at the gym for the purpose of bettering themselves and their health. If you find people giving you occasional glances, maybe it's because they don't recognize you from the gym (or they do recognize you from somewhere else), maybe their admiring your outfit/physique, maybe their avid gym goers who are watching your form and technique, or maybe their just zoned out and you happen to be in the line of sight.

When I'm at the gym, I look around between sets and take note on other people's form to see if maybe I should tweak the way I do a certain exercise, or I'm admiring another girls outfit or physique because there are a lot of beautiful women at the gym. Sometimes, I'm thinking "dang, they're lifting so heavy, how cool!" or "wow, their form is amazing, they really know what they're doing." I've never thought bad abut someone at the gym because why would I?

🩷 Don't Be Scared To Ask For Help

if there an exercise you really want to do but don't know how and videos aren't helping, ask someone around you who isn't in the middle of an exercise and looks like they may know. The guy at the gym doing upper body who has good biceps may be the right guy to ask about upper body exercises. The girl doing impeccable Bulgarian Split Squats might be the right person to ask for help with those types of movements. Just make sure they aren't in the middle of an exercise, because that can cause some unwanted issues, especially if they're mid-rep, that can turn into a safety issue.

People love to help people, especially at the gym. If you politely ask for help from someone, they may take it as a compliment that you think they look like a person who is knowledgeable on working out. I'd definitely be so flattered if someone asked me for help or advice at the gym!

🩷 Random Advice:

remember your why! no matter how anxious you are, remember why you're going! what are your goals, what do you hope to achieve, how proud will you feel after?

start small if you have to! if it's really anxiety inducing to start working out, make it your first goal to at least step into the gym. then 2nd goal, walk around the gym to get a feel for it. 3rd goal, maybe 5-10 minutes on a treadmill, and then keep building momentum each day.

be careful with the hours you go! there is such a thing as peak gym hours. It varies by place, but a lot of gyms are busy between 2pm and 6pm I've seen. I personally love going to the gym super early morning, it's a little less busy and I'm a morning person so it works out for me! If you can only go during peak hours, bring a friend or keep your headphones on and do your thing!

Bring a friend! If you're really anxious about going alone, bring a friend with similar goals! Sometimes it can be a lot nicer to learn something new with a friend then try and learn it on your own! Plus, it's like extra motivation and accountability!

Have a motivating pre workout routine. Play some music while getting ready, prep your bags, prep your playlist, get your workout itself figured out, and just keep yourself excited to go! I love blasting high-energy music that makes me feel like a baddie on my way to the gym.

I hope this was helpful!! My thoughts were everywhere but I tried to convey them as best as possible! I'm happy to answer any questions or offer more tips and advice, don't feel scared to ask! <3

til next time lovelies 🩷

[balkanradfem]

I've been talking about my new swimming spot and how I had to get away from my last one because it became contaminated, but now I have to talk about it in more detail because I am getting stressed, and too anxious to actually go swimming.

So the reason I left my last, super convenient swimming spot, is that it became a spot where a small group of m*n frequented; and the thing is they didn't harass me right away. There are little benches on top of the riverbank, under some trees, and sometimes when I went swimming, there would be people on the benches, just resting and talking, and I would politely greet them and go down the stairs, and we didn't bother each other at all. Until, at one point, whenever I would get into the water, a male from the group would suddenly also decide to get into the river, at which point I would swim to the other side of the river, where I would have peace.

That worked the first time, but the second time, a m*n followed me down into the river, with two big dogs (they're as big as me), and when I swam to the other side of the river, he also swam to the other side. I felt uncomfortable, but decided to linger there for a bit, and then swam back – and he followed me immediately. At this point I started to get away from the swimming spot, into the deeper water, and then one of his dogs followed me and started barking at me, so the m*n also followed the dog, and got uncomfortably close to me.

I want to stress at this point that I'm not wearing a swimsuit or a bikini, I am in big black swimming trunks that go all the way down to my knee, and a sleeveless shirt which I appropriated for swimming because the outfit makes me very comfortable, and un-self conscious. The outfit screams 'nothing to look at here'. And I'm struggling with low weight right now so there's truly nothing interesting, I am looking as unappealing to males as it is possible to be. Even my hair is tied up and wrapped in a bandana. He looks like he's in his late 50s or early 60s, he's three times my size, and his dogs are about as big as I am. There is no legitimate reason for him to linger anywhere close to me.

As I was in my deep water spot, and he wasn't leaving, I started to get terrified. I was looking for a way out of the situation, I was starting to contemplate that he might assault me, because he kept following and cornering me, and even though the place was kinda public, there was nobody nearby. I waited for a moment where he got distracted with one of his dogs, and escaped the scene.

I was too scared to ever go back to this spot, so I found a new one; the problem is my new spot is not exactly far away from the old spot, just much more inconvenient to get to. No stairs, you have to wade trough tall grass and get a bit prickled by the nettles and thorns. But I don't care, I'm feeling safe with the nettles. So yesterday I went swimming to my new spot, and as soon as I entered the water, I realize the same guy with his dogs, is at the old spot, and I ignore him, I'm far enough that he can't quickly or inconspicuously approach me. So I'm swimming to the other side of the river, swimming back, looking at ducks, letting all of the little fish snack on my dead skin cells, and a few times I just offhandedly glanced at his direction, just to make sure he was still there. And every single time, he's staring right at me. He was looking at me when I was entering the water, he was staring in my direction when I was swimming, and when I was just sitting in the water. He was staring after me when I was leaving as well.

That guy seems to just live at the river, he's in there almost every time I go swimming, and at this point I'm scared to go back. Why would you go to the river and then keep your eyes completely glued to another person also swimming there? From my point of view, I was being super cool, making sure us two strangers each have our own private swimming spot, so we can both relax and not be bothered by other people around us. But why is he staring at me?

At this point I can't rule out the possibility that he's planning to assault me and is monitoring my movements to figure out where and when it would be the easiest to do it. There's no way he could be staring at me for no reason whatsoever, even when it's making me obviously very uncomfortable, to the point where I will go to a different place to swim. Apparently me just moving to a different spot isn't enough. And this isn't the first time I've gotten attacked by a male in the river, I once got chased by someone to the point where I had to hide in a corn field to get away.

So now I am sad and wondering if I'll get to swim again this summer. All other access points are either crowded or far away from me, and I hate crowds. I need a no-m*n-summer. Just delete them. Female only summer. I can't deal with this shit anymore.

[whitexwolfxx310]

|| You're A Weapon; And Weapons Don't Weep ||

Pairing: Bucky x female reader

Summary: After Bucky discovers that your once thought to be dead older brother is HYDRA's new super soldier, you're chosen to go on a mission with the team.

Warnings: **PLEASE READ** This fic contains death. If the idea of unaliving someone can possibly trigger you, please do NOT read this. Anxiety attack, cursing, angst, random sprinkles of fluff, use of y/n.

Word Count: 4.7

A/Ns: It has been way too long, but I finally got to write for my BBWWS again. I have a feeling there won't be too many chapters left for Bucky and his Sunshine. But I have been working on other ideas and another series is in the process. I hope you enjoy reading. I love you all! The messages, comments, reblogs, likes, etc. literally give me life and inspired me to come back and get into writing all over again. Enjoy your weekend, besties!!

Previous Part // Masterlist

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. Any shred of hope that life would be returning back to normalcy remotely anytime soon got washed away by the tidal wave that was the news of your brother being the new super soldier for Hydra.

Tony and Steve called for intel meetings that basically became a fulltime job. At first it felt like an interrogation. They questioned you, curious as to why you would apply for an internship at The Compound. While the circumstances did seem suspicious, they eventually were able to rule out any foul play on your part.

The gatherings soon turned into wanting to know every intricate detail that they wouldn't be able to look up or hack out of any system. From dawn to dusk, the two men asked about your childhood together- trying to connect the pieces as to who Luke is, or was. Bucky stayed silently by your side the entire time and offered a stabilizing hand when things got overwhelming to discuss. But it also didn't slip by you that he focused on each and every detail, noting the intel for this mission.

After being able to specify things so minute; such as your brothers favorite books, favorite teacher from grade school, or the fact that he likes the color green- but not just any green, Sacramento green, because it reminded him of the vines that grew around the windows of your grandparents cottage that you would spend the majority of your summer's at as kids, you also got chosen to go on this mission. There was some minor pushback from the team, but ultimately Bucky took responsibility for you. You knew that he would keep you safe, even if it meant putting the part of his very soul that he felt remained on the line for you.

To say that the training was brutal would be an understatement. While the others had an entire lifetime to perfect their craft and years working alongside one another in unity, you had only a matter of weeks. You were thrown into a constant rotation of being educated on the newest technologies developed by Tony, boxing and going over endless tactical strategies with Steve, knowledge of weaponry with a hint of ballet to stay light on your feet with Nat... pure exhaustion wouldn't begin to describe it.

The day came when intel showed the Swiss Alps would be first on the mission log. Everyone was treating it like just any other, but the dreaded encounter was weighing down heavily deep within your stomach. The thought of using yourself as bait to lure out your brother spiraled into the millions of anxious outcomes that kept you up at night. Finally giving you just the smallest glimpse into Bucky's world. The doorway was creaked open to his nightmares.

"Wooow. You look like a Bad. Ass." Sam annunciates amusingly, as his eyes land on you walking up the small rear cargo ramp of the jet.

Your cheeks instantly blush, having already been self-conscious about the skintight, black Kevlar suit Nat gave you to wear. As more footsteps approach, you sink more into your seat and try to avoid any more eye contact.

"Just so you know, I heard that." Bucky's voice rebounds off of the metal walls before he even makes his way completely into the jet. "Don't try and make passes at my girl when I'm not aro-"

You don't need to look up to know that those steel blue eyes have frozen you into place, but you dare a glance. He's dressed in all black; Black boots, black tactical pants, a black leather jacket with the left sleeve torn off- showing his gunmetal and gold Vibranium arm, and a black glove on his right hand. The sight of him is intimidating, ready for combat and anything to be thrown his way. But those eyes. They hold a tenderness meant only for you. His magnetizing stare mixed with the wonderment expression on his face confirms his friends words and more. Okay, so maybe the suit isn't so bad.

"You're gawking." Sam is now at Bucky's side, smirking with his arms tightly crossed over his chest.

Bucky's face slides back into its usual consternation state before giving him a side glare. "Shut up." Sam shakes his head, laughing to himself lightly before making his way to the front of the jet.

You move to sit upright as he approaches, and Bucky's face finally softens. It always does when it's just the two of you. He reaches above where you're sitting to an overhead rack, casually leaning. Hovering like one of those seductive book boyfriends you'd swoon over, but for him it just comes naturally. Swallowing hard, you angle your head up to look at him. You find a slightly playful grin tugging at his lips and you crack a faint smile.

"You doing okay, Sunshine?" His voice is soft but concerned. A gloved thumb caresses down your cheek. The doting gesture entrances you to gently nuzzle into his palm.

"I don't know." You answer honestly.

He reflects on this a moment, his eyes searching yours. But he looks slightly blurry. The background noise is starting to become overwhelming. Numerous voices all start to overlap, the jet engines growing louder as they're warming up, the loud bang with each shipment container with weapons being loaded on board- weapons intended for my brother. It all combines into one long dragged-out, high-pitched ringing sound and your throat closing in on itself. Bucky senses this, notices and quickly acts. Wide eyed, he drops to his knees.

"Hey... Hey, y/n. It's okay." He quickly unfastens the harness from your seat. "Deep breaths." You can't help but notice how calm he sounds. "Hey...look at me." Bucky gently cups each side of your face, the intense coolness on the one side being a welcomed shock. Your eyes meet his, and when they do, all you see is his devotion. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here with you."

"I know you are." You mutter, pressing your forehead to his as you try to manage your breathing to match his.

"We'll find him." He breathes. "I made it out, he can too. I won't let anything happen to you while we’re out there, y/n." The urgency that his tone is trying to convey is heart wrenching.

"I know, Bucky."

"Here-" He pulls away for a moment to take a bag off his back. Unzipping it, he pulls out a water bottle. "Drink some water."

You smile internally at the gesture. As he's unscrewing the cap, you notice a novel in the bag. It's one he borrowed from you when you first met. There's a familiar stinging behind your eyes. What did I do to deserve this man? One who is willing to walk back into his version of hell to pull out someone that I love?

Sipping on the water of course helped, but Bucky tucking you securely into his side for takeoff is what kept the overwhelming anxiety at bay.

“I love you, so much.” You say against his chest, in appreciation. He snorts slightly, pressing a delicate kiss into your hair.

“And I love you, Sunshine.” Bucky adjusts his hips slightly. “Get some rest, we have a long flight.” Intricate fingers brush through your hair, eventually lulling you to sleep in the safe space that is your boyfriend’s lap.

Distant muttering started reeling you back from a dreamless sleep. Instinctively, you reach for Bucky whom you thought you were still sleeping on- only to find he had replaced it with his bag. The disappointment was starting to settle in when you hear his voice:

“I know how this can come across, but she’s strong enough. She’ll be able to handle it, Tony. I’m here, I can-“

“All I’m hearing is I, I, I, me, me, me, Barnes. You, my friend, were an exception. I don’t know if we can go in there and get this guy out alive, and even if we can, who knows what the aftermath is going to look like! For either of them! We’re taking a regular, a nobody off the street and putting a lot of pressure on her to do this. She’s already starting to feel it, that much is obvious. I’ve said from the beginning that this is a huge mistake. I understand your feelings here, from both sides. You want to make sure HYDRA doesn’t continue to pop up like daises and be there for the love of your life. I GET it. But this is a mistake.”

It’s apparent that Stark has walked away with the clinking of his heavy metal footsteps.

“You picked a good one, Buck. I have faith in her too.” There’s a small reassuring pat to coincide with Steve’s voice. “Y/n’s one of us now.”

“Thanks, Steve. I just… I have to save him. For her.” You can hear the exasperation in Bucky’s voice.

While tears sting from multiple emotions behind closed eyes still pretending to sleep, you feel overcome with something you haven’t experienced in this situation yet; determination. A sudden tenacity to prove the doubters that you can do this, that you can help your brother just how Bucky had, and that you wouldn’t bail and have a breakdown… again. No. From this point on, you refuse to let anyone see you as weak.

The bag underneath your head gently shifts and is quickly replaced with warm body heat that you quickly snuggle into. That warmth spreads as Bucky wraps his right arm around your body, pulling you in a little closer. His heart rate starts to slow, and his breathing becomes more regular. You just soak in the last moments before the unknown.

“He’s really going to just jump out the back of the jet like that?!” You try to yell, over the loud wind rumbling and your hair whipping around.

With Sam’s back facing towards you, he takes one absentminded step off of the opened ramp and is just gone. Your stomach drops along with him at the sight.

Bucky rolls his eyes as he hands you an earpiece, “Yep,” A second later, Sam comes back into view, now soaring with his Falcon wings. He gives Bucky a little sarcastic two finger salute and flies out of view. “He’s flashy like that.”

Putting the impossibly small earpiece into your ear, you can’t help but shake your head and laugh. It must be an almost forgotten sound with the weight of everything going on because now Bucky is smiling too.

“Well, I hope you’re not expecting me to jump out of a plane,” you say only half joking. Because if that’s the case, he’s going to have to literally throw you out.

“What did you think the parachutes were for?” Bucky asks deadpan, with a raised eyebrow and pointing to the packs behind him.

All of the color starts to drain from your face, when suddenly you saw the slightest twitch in Bucky’s lip.

“Oh my god. You asshole!” Bucky grabs his stomach and starts to hunch over laughing as you hit him in the arm. His metal arm. “OW!” You start shaking your hand out to wave away the initial sting.

Glancing at him, Bucky is doubled over, nose scrunched, laughing so hard that barely any noise is coming out and tears are welling up in his eyes. It’s contagious, especially as the throb in your hand turns into a dull ache.

I’ve missed this. Things being simple with us and not so draining. Moments that resemble a drop of normalcy in a typical ‘would be’ relationship. But I still wouldn’t trade it. Because he’s perfect. And he’s mine.

Once your lungs don’t feel like they’re on fire any longer, you let you a deep sigh, resting your hands on your hips. “God, I needed that.”

“Did you really think I would toss you out of a Quinjet?”

“Seemed like it in the moment-”

“Alright, love birds,” Tony interrupts, the heavy metal footsteps of his Iron Man armor catching both of your attention, "don't be late to the party," he says knowingly, palms glowing before he too disappears out of the jet.

“Don’t worry, Sunshine,” Bucky says, now standing next to you, “I have my own flashy transport,” he side eyes you with a playful grin.

Arms wrapped tightly around Bucky’s stomach; you can’t help but snuggle your cheek into his leather covered shoulder.

Of course, Bucky’s idea of flashy would be a motorcycle.

Your eyes flutter open to see Steve on his own come into view through whips of your hair. The boys. Two best friends riding like they don’t have the weight of the world constantly on their shoulders.

Steve’s bike has a bulky, all chrome classic look while Bucky’s is a modern, all black crotch rocket. Both have been modified to drive relatively quietly, and it’s such a weird dichotomy to still be able to feel the rumbling of the bike between your legs without all the noise.

One of your hands releases the clasp they had on one another, pressing your palm against Bucky’s chest- smoothing itself along his abdomen. Bucky sits more upright in his seat to press back into you more, using only his left hand to steer as his right encloses around yours, giving you a reassuring squeeze. The gesture is so minor, and yet you can just feel how he puts his heart into everything when it comes to you.

"We're going to pull off to the side up on the left. We'll have to go the rest of the way on foot," Steve's voice is solemn in your earpiece.

Bucky gives him a nod in acknowledgement, leaning back down to better control the motorcycle. This time, his hand doesn't leave yours.

The trek through the Switzerland forest was less than a mile, but with each step your feet grew heavier and that sour stomach of yours returned with the dread of seeing your brother again. If he could even be considered your brother anymore. Who knows what actually remained. As much as you have begged and pleaded with the universe to make yet another exception for Lucas just as it had for Bucky, you were terrified of the man that you would soon encounter.

Just shy of coming out of the tree line to the supposed to be abandoned old military base, you hear a series of echoing pops- stopping all three of you dead in your tracks.

Gunshots.

Bucky and Steve exchange a quick, wide-eyed glance at one another, “Go, we’ll catch up.” Bucky says, and within the blink of an eye, Steve takes off running at super soldier speed.

You didn’t realize you were holding your breath until Bucky turned to face you, his shoulders squared, lips in a tight thin line. But looking between your eyes, he loosens a breath, gripping your shoulders, “Listen to me, Sunshine,” he makes every attempt to soften his voice, but a few more pops and yelling sound off in the distance making you wince. His hands grip you tighter, “I need you to focus. What I’m about to say goes against everything I normally believe, but in this circumstance it’s critical…” he sighs, looking down before back into your eyes- trying to convey the seriousness of what he’s saying, “you have to push the fear down. And I know how that sounds, but you can’t walk in there with that look on your face. Because honey, these people will not hesitate to kill you.”

You gasp lightly at the graveness of his words. It’s not like you didn’t know this walking into the mission, but it’s different once you’re actually here.

Bucky sighs again, his expression softening as his hands cup each side of your face especially gentle, “I know, baby. I know. I won’t leave your side,” he presses his forehead to yours, closing his eyes, “I just… I can’t lose you.” His voice cracks slightly, even at just the thought.

Even with your eyes teetering with the threat of tears, you nod in understanding. Placing each of your hands over his, you press your lips to Bucky’s- holding them there, accepting that the moment they pull apart it’s no longer about the two of you, but about the mission. Luke is your mission.

“I love you,” you murmur, before opening your eyes to see deep consternation in his.

Disassociation is a powerful coping mechanism for human beings. It can feel like an outer body experience or even a dream. More like a nightmare. But as you follow into the bunker where the screaming leads, closely behind Bucky with your gun drawn watching for any sudden movements and stepping over the trail of bloodied bodies in the hallway, you're thankful for the part of your brain trying to convince you that this isn't real.

"Still no sign of Castle," Sam's voice was pragmatic in your earpiece.

Bucky looked back over his shoulder at you while still walking, "Maybe he's not here after-" and that's when you see the slightest shift of a shadow in an inverted doorway.

It was so small that in any other instance you would just assume your eyes were just playing a trick on you. But not here. Your body reacted before your mind could even fully register- taking a sudden step to the side, you fired off two prompt shots. A heavy thud followed.

Practically giving himself whiplash, Bucky looks at where you shot and back to you. His eyes widen, mouth open slightly at the realization of what just happened. What you just did- for him. Your eyes haven't moved from that doorway, and your grip is tighter on the gun than it probably should be. Pain surges through your jaw with how tightly your teeth are clenched and yet, you wait to see if anyone else is there. Is there another shadow lurking just waiting for the opportunity to harm one of you?

"Y/n..." Bucky's voice is delicate as his eyes dart around, also looking for shadows, "we have to keep moving," he says in a coaxing manner.

I can’t. The words blare in your mind like a doomsday siren and yet you can’t speak. All you can do is focus on that that dark corner where the pool of crimson continues to grow.

Bucky steps in line of your gun with somber eyes meeting yours, causing you to simultaneously point it towards the ground and break your trance. You didn’t realize just how high and how tight your shoulders had been as you loosened your breath. A new version of you being transformed as you exhale.

“I-” You try catching your breath, completely slack jaw and shaking your head just trying to comprehend what you did. “I…I just-” and the tears are flowing. No crying, no uncontrollable sobbing, but a small steady line of tears as the overwhelming awareness of taking control and trading a life for someone that you love comes to light… just flows.

“You did what you had to,” he answers for you, nodding sympathetically. You don’t deserve kindness right now, do you? But that is why he is good. And that is why he deserves to live.

“We have to go, y/n.” Bucky says, looking over your shoulders and behind himself again. “It looks like no one else has been down here yet.” He grabs your hand, not waiting for a response before he’s treading down the hallway again.

Your feet shuffle instinctively at first to follow him, but the brightness of the flickering fluorescent lights quickly grounded you to where you actually are. There are lives at stake and you need to keep your head.

The distant noise of constant struggle seemed to almost completely stop. Every few minutes you would hear a familiar voice say 'clear' in your ear and relief would wash over you, just thankful for knowing that they were alive.

It got cold the further you went, meaning you probably had gradually descended underground. Finally, at the end of what seemed like a never-ending tunnel, was a large set of metal double doors with multiple large chains and padlocks.

You and Bucky exchanged a quick glance with one another before he fists the chain with his Vibranium hand, pulling effortlessly as they break into pieces. He pushes open the doors to reveal a large, primarily empty room aside from a bunch of dusty, bulky outdated computers. Most of the overhead lights don’t work, so it seems darker in here than it did in the corridor.

Bucky steps into the room and starts looking around, his boots crunching noisily on worn rubble and glass. You hold your breath, watching as his fingers skim along the keyboards, his eyes squinting at the monitors as he passes each one as though looking for something.

And then he stops at one in particular. He eyes it carefully before looking up at the ceiling to the lights again.

“What is it?” You can’t hide your curiosity.

“There’s still power to this base,” he says observantly, turning his attention back towards the computer. “Maybe…” he mumbles to himself, leaning over the monitor a bit, his fingers blindly searching before pressing the power button. Bucky stands back as the screen comes to life, but his eyes widen, alarmed as to what he sees.

“Bucky?” You ask apprehensively, moving to stand next to him and also look at the screen. It's mostly black, but there's a green contour of... a face?

"Hello Sergeant Barnes," the computer says with a German accent.

"Oh, what the fuck?" Bucky steps back, his hands fisting into his hair.

The voice chuckles, "Come now, is that any way to greet an old friend?"

“Is… the computer talking? To you?”

“Why, yes, Ms. Castle. I am,” your stomach turns over at the sound of the voice addressing you as well.

“What the fu-” you go to repeat Bucky’s words but get cut off.

“Does the facility seem… familiar, Barnes?” Zola asks, condescendingly. “Or, at the very least, the machinery?”

Bucky's eyes start to dart around the room, taking in the different equipment before muttering to himself in dismay, "these control the cyro chambers..."

The computer laughs menacingly, "Ah, so you do remember. Good! Good..."

Rolling his arm once while taking a large step forward, Bucky brings it down, crushing the computer completely. Exposed wires spark briefly from the powerful impact, otherwise leaving the room in silence.

“What- who was that?”

“Arnim Zola. A scientist for HYDRA. The one who, well…” Bucky passively gestures to himself, “experimented and is responsible for me.”

Suddenly, another one of the numerous screens comes to life- the digitized green face grinning, “tsk, tsk. Oh, Soldat…”

“I won’t answer to that anymore,” Bucky maintained through gritted teeth, raising his arm to disintegrate this talking monitor as well just as it says:

“Who said I was talking about you?”

Just then, you hear quick, trudged steps. The only warning you had before been picked up, as easily as a pillow and aggressively, carelessly thrown aside into a metal desk, knocking some of the computers that sat on top along with you.

You tried gasping for the air that was stolen from your lungs on impact with the floor, but it didn’t come. Instead, it burned, more than the pain creeping around the left side of your ribs as you sluggishly moved to sit on your knees. Looking up, you meet the threatening gaze of the one who attacked you.

He was exceptionally tall, especially from your view on the floor. Lean, but had an athletic build and strong. Super strong. He was dressed in all black tactical gear, the only color being a large red Soviet star in the center of his chest. A black mask covered all but his eyes, keeping him faceless. He was pale, as if he hadn't seen actual sunlight in years and had shoulder length dirty blonde hair.

But those eyes. They cemented you to the floor- glaring, daring you to move or even breathe. Just the look that he conveyed felt like you were in the presence of death itself. As you were able to take your first small breath, your lips parted, and eyes narrowed as they locked into his deadly gaze. There was such a darkness glazed over the emerald irises, but you'd recognize them anywhere.

"Luke..." you exhale, painfully. Both physically and emotionally.

His brow twitches slightly at you saying his name, like his mind is trying to recollect it from a long-forgotten dream. As his body turns to face you, he suddenly gets shoved back a few feet, "Back off, Castle." Bucky warns sternly, stepping between you and your brother.

Gripping the desk, you use it to hoist yourself up, whining slightly and grabbing at your left side realizing that you most likely have some broken ribs. The sound of your pain distracted Bucky for one second, and Luke took that opportunity to lunge forward and kick him high in the chest. With a breathless grunt, Bucky barrels backwards into you, knocking your back flush against the wall.

Luke was there in the blink of an eye, grabbing Bucky by the collar of his jacket. The two of them quickly became a tangle of throwing fists and kicks, breaking apart to find anything around to throw at one another. Overturning desks, throwing chairs, Bucky even chucked a still laughing Zola computer at Luke.

While you never thought the two most important men in your life would ever have the chance to meet, this is not the way you would have ever imagined it.

With your back still flat against the wall, you slide down to sit on the floor, starting to feel dizzy. Maybe it was the overwhelmingness of the situation, but instinctively you bring your hand to the back of your head, and it feels... wet. Looking at your fingers, they're now coated with fresh, warm crimson blood. It's getting harder to think straight with the tunneling vision, but you realize that you hit your head against the wall from the collision of bodies.

"Please..." you choke out a sob, "please, stop," you beg. But they can't hear you over their own heated screams and grunts as they continue to fight one another. Your narrowing vision focuses on Bucky, seeing that he is fighting more defensively- actively trying to avoid hurting Luke, pulling his punches where he can. Tears burn behind your eyes at the sight, knowing that if this were anyone else, it would already be over.

"Luke!" Bucky yells and quickly dodges to the side, avoiding the knife now sticking out of the wall that Luke threw at him. "Your sister came here to get you back! She's here for you. We're here for you!" Bucky maintained his distance, mirroring Luke's movement's trying to rely on his words rather than fists. They're pacing, waiting for the other to make a move.

The ringing in your ears was becoming too hard to ignore and as much as you tried to fight it, sweat started to bead up on your skin. You were losing consciousness, and fast.

"Bucky," you breathe out. His body tenses as he looks over at you, eyes wide. He jumps over one of the only remaining desks in the room and kneels down, hands hovering over body briefly, afraid to touch you.

"Okay... okay," he mutters to himself, scanning you over, his eyes linger on your hand with the now drying blood on them. Bucky gently cups your cheek, his thumb grazing over it as he forces a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "You're gonna be okay, Sunshine. I-I'm going to get you outta here and get some help, okay?" His voice sounds shaky as his chest heaves, "Sam? I need a med evac for y/n,"

You nod once, or at least you think you do, as you continue to focus on Bucky. Everything around him starts to fade into a deeper black void. The last thing you see is Luke step into view over Bucky's shoulder to look down at you. At some point during their altercation, his mask had been ripped off. His lips were pressed into a thin line as his teeth clenched and remained expressionless while Bucky continued to stroke your hair and try to speak calm, reassuring words of how he would make sure you would be okay as you slipped under the surface of complete darkness.

@peaches1958 @aquabrie @elsie-bells @pono-pura-vida @redbloodedgurl @almosttoopizza @beware-my-thorns @prettylittlepluviophile @annoyinglythoughtfuldestiny @calwitch @ozwriterchick @roofwitty779 @lessersole @lil-darhk @agoddoesnotplead @saranghaey @erinallene @mrsvxder @elizabeth916 @cjand10 @bucky-barnes-lover @wintrsoldrluvr @skulliecadaver-blog

[voltronisanobsession]

Hii, I hope you are having a good day or night! I've recently read your platonic yandere voltron things. And I was wondering if you would make some more headcanons? Or stories with platonic yandere? Here are some ideas you could write either a few headcanons or a story about, for if you have low inspiration. Kidnapped reader with platonic yandere voltron, maybe by an alien species who wanted to help the reader? How would the team react? What would they do? Or maybe the reader get really sick which isn't easily cured cue the panic from the team? Again, just so you know I really like your work! So keep up the good work, and thank you for making your works in the first place! Take good care of yourself, and stay hydrated!

Yandere Voltron’s Reaction to Reader being Taken

O M G DONT EVEN PLAY WITH ME RNNNN!!!! I absolutely LOVE yandere voltron like they’re so fun to write for🤞😜 I love the idea of the group just going crazy if reader were to escape UGHH

tysm pookie, take care of yourself too and ENJOY THIISSSS

OK YOU JUST SPURRED IDEAS INTO MY HEAD

I can already imagine the group going crazy when reader suddenly gets swept up right from their grasp out of nowhere by some random spaceship

I know you said some kind of an alien species taking reader but hear me out

It’s LOTOR AND HIS LITTLE GROUPIES OOOOO

It’s painfully obvious that you’re the real star in voltron seeing as how possessive and protective they are of you, hiding you away whenever danger is nearby

So it only makes sense to Lotor to just kidnap you as leverage for his plans

Little did he know that you would be THANKING him for taking you away from the group lmao😭

Imagine your tied up and homeboys getting ready to explain his super mastermind plan to you when all of a sudden you start rambling about how good it feels to be away from them

“Nothing personal, you were the only thing holding that sad excuse of a team together, so I needed you out of the picture for now.” Cue smirk

“UGH THANK GOD! I was literally starting to lose my mind in there, you have no IDEA how needy they all are.”

Now cue a dumbfounded Lotor

He was not expecting reader to be so relaxed considering how he just snatched you up out of nowhere

You’re just chilling while looking around his ship, maybe making conversation with his generals

You finally get a break from the constant attention and possessiveness, ANYTHING is better than being around the group

While you’re happily talking your voice away with Lotor a group, everyone in the castle is freaking the fuck out

It’s bad enough that they let you slip away from their grasp, it’s worse knowing it was Lotor who took you away💀

We all know how Lance feels about Lotor so I think he would have one of the more extreme reactions to you being taken away

Probably starts pointing fingers and starts blaming everyone for not being able to keep you safe

Lowkey begins targeting Keith because it’s somehow always his fault when something goes wrong💀💀

Lance might even starting crying and wailing out for you with Hunk when the situation finally hits him

Keith is also another one to have a more violent outburst during and after your disappearance

He’s someone I see with strong emotions that he doesn’t know how to handle yet so we already know how he might act

Agitated? Yes. Scared? For you, yeah. Furious? Oh honey absolutely.

Keith might have almost caught you too, but he didn’t. He’s so angry with everything and mostly himself that’s he’s pushing everyone else’s buttons, trying to convince the group that the only right choice is immediately going after you

He’s too anxious now that you’re not in his line of sight, making him kinda desperate to get you back again

Hear me out but I think the calmest ones would PROBABLY be Shiro and Pidge

Now I’m not saying that they’re CALM but they have the nerves mostly in tact

They’re already trying to locate where you are with the secret tracker that have on you so it doesn’t really benefit them to try and blame someone for what happened to you

Pidge’s hands shake while she’s working her whizz tho. She has to type, erase, and retype every now and then because of how nervous and anxious she is

She’s so used to having you around that now her brain can’t function properly without you

She doesn’t want to lose you like how she lost her brother and father so Pidge is trying her best to have a one track mind

Shiro on the other hand is more level headed

He really does try to calm the group down as best as he could but with Lance and Hunk crying, Keith yelling at them to get up and do something, Pidge taking a long time to track you down, and Allura and Coran seemingly in an entire different universe, he can’t help but feel the pressure of this disaster falling on his shoulders

This man is ready to just end Lotor when they find him like I’m not even joking

Everyone is getting on this man’s nerves and knowing that you’re trapped with Voltrons enemy doesn’t really make him feel any better

Hunk might even strike fear into Shiro while he’s babbling on about if you’re hurt or not, if they’re torturing you to get any information out of you etc

Poor Hunk is a flood gate at this point. One moment you’re right next to him and the next you’re not

He’s having a complete meltdown in a corner, maybe trying to comfort himself with a small picture of a selfie you both took together

This dude is already imagining all these terrible scenarios you could possibly be in which makes him feel even more terrible

Quite literally feels like he’s gonna throw up now when he begins thinking about how he’ll never see you again

Allura and Coran are surprising quite and calm during all this

They’d keep to themselves but know that they’re going through some extreme inner turmoil

It’s kind of like Allura disconnected herself from the world ever since you’ve been taken

Her skin itches to run out and grab a pod to find you herself but she knows it’s a brash idea

The only thing she does is mull over the idea of making Lotor regret messing with Voltron

BUT TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORTT

They are willing to do anything to get you back, not caring for the description they’ll leave along the way

The longer your gone the less control and stability they’ll have as a group

Desperate and irrational are some words to describe them during your being away from them

They will stop at nothing to have you back with them, some more destructive and violent than others

No one holds back when getting you back from Lotor, leaving his ships wrecked and forcing him to put his plans on pause as he recovers

Who knows, maybe him and his group might’ve grown similar possessive feelings towards you as well with the time you spent with them? HMMMM

[drdemonprince]

hey, so this is super random and I’m not sure if you have thought about this but figured I’d ask: (came to my mind after reading your story in *unmasking* about intervening in street harassment)

I’m audhd and it really affects my sensory processing, social/ situational awareness etc since it’s hard for me to discern which stimuli are important in any given situation. I’m also realizing that I never really feel unsafe as a single woman in a dense city environment, even when my friends feel unsafe. Makes it hard to trust my own intuition about that kinda stuff since everyone I know apart from myself has that experience.

Question is, do you happen to have any info/ best practices about situational awareness and judging the danger of potentially sketchy situations? Walking around the city at night, creepy rural gas station, online hookup, greyhound bus alone etc.

Everything online says “trust your intuition” but my intuition always says “ehh it’ll be fine” lol.

The truth is, it usually WILL be fine. Most people's *~magical crime and danger intuition~* is a combination of true crime slop, inaccurate media coverage of the crime rate inflating their anxieties, and classism and racism. The vast majority of crimes are not committed by random strangers lurking in the dark, but between individuals who know one another and in circumstances that are at least somewhat explicable, and so you do not need magic empath powers to determine if you will be safe somewhere or not.

The way you keep relatively safe is by informing yourself of the facts, not the hype -- look up the actual crime statistics for your area, for example, though be highly skeptical of them. These figures are collected by the police state and we cannot trust them to define what safety or unsafety even IS, as they are the source of the danger for the majority of us. What they classify as crime and where they bother to enforce crime is highly skewed, and itself can create massive misapprehensions. So make sure to also speak with people in the communities you are visiting about what happens to them and the general vibe. Also spend a lot of time out in your community yourself, observing things, talking to people, hanging out, maybe volunteering, and learning the lay of the land. You'll have more people around to help you if you ever need it, and you'll find more occasions where your help is needed, too!

Follow some basic, common sense advice to avoid making oneself especially vulnerable, but don't over-isolate yourself. Things like keeping one earbud out of your ear when walking home alone at night and not keeping a purse open on the train are always sensible maneuvers; carrying pepper spray or a gun that will more likely be used to harm you is not. Learn how to de-escalate people if you don't already know -- acting calm, making your posture non-threatening but confident, moving slowly and predictably, avoiding provocative eye contact, changing the subject of conversation, engaging a victim of harassment and pretending to know them in order to drag them away from a bad situation, etc. These things will be helpful to you if a situation arises, and the more prepared you feel, the less anxious you ever have to be.

Honestly, moving through the world with a "this feels fine / seems fine" energy is ITSELF massively protective. I have ALWAYS walked around alone at night, even when I was a small 18 year old "girl," including in areas where the majority of women of my then-demographic would have not felt "safe" going out on their own. By and large, I was completely fine. People really don't want to mess with you if you seem like you have a handle on your shit and are not afraid of them.

The worst that ever happened to me was a guy grabbing my tit -- in broad daylight on a sunday on a train packed full of people. It really couldn't have been avoided. And a guy flashing me -- again in midday in a family oriented neighborhood many would deem safe. I survived these things, and I defended myself by getting aggressive with the guys who did them, and physically attacking them, which scared them off. I'm glad I did what I did, and I'm glad I wasn't so intimidated by the possibility of scary stranger danger that I kept myself sequestered away.

The few other times anyone made me uncomfortable, it was things like leering comments or walking alongside me for a block, hitting on me (sometimes, yes, late at night), but because I was able to be assertive, unbothered, and stand my ground, the guys always gave up or were scared off (by me). And this reaction from me is one I largely credit to having no instinctual "stranger danger" crime intuition of the sort most white women are conditioned to have.

In short, I think your instincts might be more accurate to reality than your friends' are. It's good to look around and pay attention to things, to learn to recognize patterns, to study one's area, to speak to people in your community and know what's going on, and to prepare oneself for hard situations, which WILL happen to you sometimes no matter what you do. but the world is rarely as scary as it's made out to be.

[gelus-ugs]

When the Hashira find out you’re pregnant/you got them pregnant

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Female reader - Male Hashira

Male reader - Female Hashira

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A/n: I completely forgot Muichiro is a child, and I sincerely apologize for originally including him in this. I have removed him from this because teen pregnancy is a no no

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Requested by @drunkuser126

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Gyomei Himejima

He’s really, really happy and excited

But he’s also extremely anxious and scared

He’s excited to start a family with you, and to be a father

He loves kids, and he’s thrilled to have his own

However, he’s super anxious because of the world filled with demons

He doesn’t want anything to happen to his child, or to you

He’s more determined to find Muzan and put an end to demons so he can create a safe world for both you and the child

He loves rubbing your belly and feeling the baby move or kick

He’ll just lay his hand or head on your stomach and feel/listen with a smile on his face

He does everything for you as much as he can

He hates being away on missions because he can’t be there to help you when you need

He’ll more than likely ask Shinobu to help take care of you when he’s gone since she’s the most reliable

Sanemi Shinazugawa

He finds it a burden for both you and him

You have to resign your spot from the Demon Slayer Corps, and he has to take care of you

He’s extremely anxious, and he’s not sure if he’s ready to be a father

He more than likely leaves you with Shinobu to get his head together

The butterfly girls take care of you while Shinobu finds Sanemi

She goes off on him

He regrets leaving you and his child, and realizes that he kinda wants to have a family

He comes back with Shinobu and apologizes for his behavior

He leaves you at Shinobu’s for the process of your pregnancy, but visits you constantly

He’s scared to be a father and has no idea what he’s doing

When he’s away on missions, he’ll seek out fathers or mothers and get advice from them How sweet :)

When he can, he tries his best to help make things easier during your pregnancy process

Learning what foods you can and can’t eat and making good meals for you, helping you around, bringing what you need, etc

He’s not sure if he’s ready, but he’s willing to try

Obanai Iguro

Tbh, I don’t see him as someone who really likes kids

But the thought of having a domestic life makes him smile

He temporarily resigns his place as a Hashira to help take care of you

He asks Shinobu for advice on how to help/treat you during your pregnancy process

He struggles, but he tries his best and you help him out

He’s nervous to have a child because he doesn’t know how to be a father

You both take it step by step and do your research together :)

On his rare, important missions, he’ll ask any parents he comes across for advice

The road is rocky, but you’re learning together

Mitsuri Kanroji

She’s ecstatic

She never thought that she’d find someone to love, let alone start a family with

She’s so grateful to have you by her side during the whole process

You take care of her, and occasionally take her to the butterfly mansion to have Shinobu check up on her

She immediately wants to prepare for the baby

Clothes, a crib, diapers, etc

She makes sure that she eats healthily to make sure that the baby is okay

You’re always by her side and do things for her when she needs it

She’s so happy and grateful for you, and can’t wait to start a family

Kyōjurō Rengoku

Another one who’s ecstatic

He’s extremely excited to start a family with you

He resigns his position as a Hashira to take care of you

He wants to live a normal life like normal people, and doesn’t want his child to have to carry the burden of the blade

He’s on top of everything you need

Food? Already being cooked. Need a massage? Sit down, he’s on it. Dropped something? He’ll pick it up for you, no problem

He’s always by your side, but not in a suffocating way. He’s just taking care of you and making sure you’re okay

I feel like he’d panic because he has no idea what to do or expect, and he didn’t realize that until you began to puke and constantly be in pain

He quickly took you to Shinobu and had her take care of you

Shinobu walked Rengoku through everything while the butterfly girls took care of your miserable state. How sweet :)

Rengoku helps you as much as he can, and will take you to Shinobu every once and a while for a check up - upon Shinobu’s recommendation

Shinobu Kocho

She’s scared for how this’ll change her life

You’ll have to force her to stop her duties as a Hashira and take care of herself

She wants to act like nothing is different and continue on with her life, so you’ll have to take care of her

You leave Kanao/Aoi in charge of the butterfly mansion, and you’ll occasionally help around when you can

You take care of Shinobu, she’s too stubborn to take care of herself

You eventually convince her to take a break from being a Hashira to take care of herself and the baby

You both try to learn how to be parents from other couples/books

You’re both scared, but eventually become excited for the future with your child

Tengen (+ His wives)

They’re all super excited

The wives make sure to take extra care of you

They do everything for you

Hina is in charge of making food and feeding you, Makio is in charge of watching over you to help you with things you might need help with, and Suma takes care of your baths and nightly routines

They basically smother you

They’re so excited to have and raise a child

Tengen is usually out on missions, but when he’s home, he treats you like royalty

He gives you massages and is always cuddling you

If you ever need space, they’ll leave you be, but make sure there’s a way for you to easily call them if needed

Giyu Tomioka

I feel like he’s scared and excited simultaneously

He’s scared because he has no idea what to do when it comes to taking care of you and the baby

But he’s so excited to live a domestic life because he never thought he’d get the chance

He puts a pause on being a Hashira to take care of you

He eventually realizes that he has no idea what he’s doing, so he asks Shinobu for help

He’s really scared because he doesn’t want to hurt you or the baby

After a month, he eventually gets comfortable taking care of you

He’s so sweet towards you :)

He gives you massages, cooks, etc

He’s like a house husband, how sweet

You feel so loved during the process

You both are extremely excited for the baby :))

[nomizombie]

boyfriend!König headcanons that have been on my mind…

[SFW/Wholesome/Fluff] ; random stuff ive been thinking about, SO MUCH FLUFF YOUR HEART WILL HURT, established relationship, gender neutral, no usage of y/n, not proofread

[A/N] ; love love LOVE the idea of all these things happening!! Also off topic but i feel like this boy needs more wholesome fanfics. Theres just too much smut for this sweet anxious guy :((

He doesnt move a muscle when you fall asleep on him. He just cant bare to wake you and your cute sleepy face! Hell sit there staring at you for hours until either he falls asleep or you wake up. You falling asleep on him just tells him that you feel so safe around him, especially when hes struggled with being so intimidating (the social anxiety and hood certainly dont help). Whether its at home on the couch, at a movie theatre, or just on the train back home, he just loves you so much he wish you would do it more often <3

You have a phobia and he comforts you. He immediately shields you or removes whatever thing youre scared of. He just cant handle seeing his liebling so terrified and vulnerable :(( he wants you to always feel safe around him, you would never have to worry about safety when hes around. Hes very loyal and is just as great a friend as he is a boyfriend :)

He would either have shoulder length hair or a super short fluffy buzzcut. No inbetween. If you ask him to grow/cut it, he wouldnt hesitate to find the nearest pair of scissors and whack it all off! (or vice versa…) he loves it when you play with his hair, and if its long, he doesnt mind you braiding or tying his hair in silly ways!!

Youre cold? Dont worry! König produces a lot of heat, let him share some of it with you! Hed give you his jacket, a thick padded one fit for surviving the Austrian winters and snug for you! Obviously his size means its huge on you but, he loves seeing you wearing his clothes. Its just another reminder of how small you are compared to him and he is absolutely obsessed with it.

You and him are having fun at a bar. He notices how drunk youre getting and pulls you away to go home before you hurt yourself or regret it in the morning. Unfortunately… the hangover hits hard and you are stuck on the bathroom floor, his hand gently rubbing circles on your back and holding your hair back as you vomit your insides into tje toilet bowl. He hates seeing yoi like this… sick and hungover. next time hes making you leave as soon as your words start slurring >:(

The movie is too scary!! Let him hold and cuddle you, jumpscare after jumpscare. You can shrink into his chest if youre scared. And dont worry about sleeping, nothing can hurt you if hes around. Of course hes just as scared as yuou, the movie was very well made afterall. But, he doesnt want you to be terrified, so hes here for you :) dont forget to give him cuddles too, he cant stop trembling as well!!!

Anniversary, valentines day, your birthday? Dont worry one bit! Hes already got it marked on his calendar, gift planned weeks in advance and the restaurant is already reserved. How could he ever disappoint an angel like you? This is the least he could do for all the love he receives for you!

Youre on your period? Dont even THINK about it. Hell be cuddling and snuggling you to warm you and calm your cramps. Cravings? Hes already on the way to the store :) you dont even have to tell him, hes already got your favourite snacks ready in a basket for you. Youre in pain all week! He hates seeing you like this… :(( who cares aboit the mood swings as long as youre nuzzled in his size, using his warm arms to stifle the chills running down your spine.

Its raining and you only have one umbrella. He would hold it for you, making sure that its his shoulder thats getting wet, not yours. Lest you fall sick and he has to stay home and take care of you for days :(( (not that hes complaining, he’ll take any opportunity to pamper and spoil you!)

Hes just gotten home from work after a bad day. As soon as he sees you, he feels just a little better, especially while resting his head on your chest and listening to your soft breaths on repeat. It could be on the couch, in bed or just while standing in the hallway, some physical touch from you always recharges his batteries :))

dividers by @mmadeinheavenn !! :)

Tysm for reading!! :) my requests are always open, feel free to ask me anything or request a drabble/fic!

[elliespuns]

hello!! first of all, i don't intend to say this as a way to create a fuss or anything like that, i just see your blog as a space where we can debate a lot of tlou related topics and i want to know your opinion about it :-) anyways, while i did enjoy the hbo series, i also think it was very flawed in translating both joel and ellie's personalities - but i want to focus on joel's atm.

i don't think joel is "insensitive" on the game, but i do believe the fact that he tried so hard to hide his feelings and barely ever showed his soft side is a SUPER important characteristic of his.

i don't mind the way pedro played joel but at the same time i just cannot see both of them as the same man. and i don't talk only about the scenes where joel was visibly anxious or cried, but also the torture scene. i think it is one of the most iconic scenes on the game (also, I'm the one who asked you to take pics of it a couple weeks ago LOL) specially cause it shows us joel doesn't have to go out of his way to be a menace. the fact that pedro had to scream and etc to make them fear him bothers me sooo much.

i think pedro was more than capable to play a joel that is both too much of a father figure for his own good AND a tough son of a b*tch that can and will kill people with his bare hands to protect whatever is important to him.

from my point of view, crying during the "i saved her" scene is really out of character for game joel. when the guy just confesses he killed a bunch of people, "doomed" the whole world just to keep his little girl safe and then lied straight to her face, but his expression shows no hint of sadness whatsoever, that, for me, is the peak of his character.

"if somehow the lord gave me a second chance at that moment, i'd do it all over again". of course he's hurt that ellie doesn't trust him anymore, and of course he wasn't exactly happy to kill those fireflies, but he did what he thought was right and he'd rather have ellie hate him for another thousand years to come than know he just left such a sweet girl to die in the hands of a crumbling group, in the name of a cause he never really cared about. he knows his actions will have consequences but he doesn't cry cause he is willing to die for it (and he really did).

sorry for rambling but i really want to read other people's opinion about it!!

First of all, I love how perfectly you've just described game Joel. This is exactly how I feel about our man, and even if I tried, I could never put it into words like this. Hands down, bro, this is so well said.

Both Ellie and Joel were portrayed differently in the show (it's not the worst thing; I know that people who don't follow the game fell in love with these versions of them, and for them it's as magical as it was for us when playing), but I guess, for the game lovers, it's harder to see past this fact simply because getting to love a character and having to learn everything there is about them, growing up with them only to find out the creators (people who gave them this exceptional and amazing character) didn't care enough to stick to what they came up with is kind of a bummer. I mean, you can choose to ignore it on the screen, but yet it's something so 'palpable' you have to watch with a little *sigh* in your mind.

"It shows us joel doesn't have to go out of his way to be a menace. the fact that pedro had to scream and etc to make them fear him bothers me sooo much."

I agree. Game Joel has this death stare that makes people fear from miles away while show Joel doesn't. I think Pedro could pull it out without a blink of an eye—if only they'd given him this Joel to play.

People say that making show Joel more "sensitive" was to make him more realistic because in the game, the characters are portrayed as having to deal with the impossible (like killing 10 clickers and a bloater without any damage, etc.), while in the show, he's a real man, so real attributes and emotions are needed. I get that; that makes perfect sense. But I still also agree with folks who say that keeping Joel's "detached" and "thin-skinned" characteristics wouldn't hurt anyone because what's unrealistic about that?

Game Joel and show Joel are completely different characters in my head. I love them both. I can switch them in my head and tune into both Joels, but I still prefer the game when it comes to the story and the character Joel is.

It's funny because when I watch show Joel, I can't help but see a puppy version of game Joel, tbh. Pedro is literally able to play anything, so his version of "sensitive" Joel serves me just right when I tune into the show. But knowing Pedro would kill the "callous" and "unaffected" version of Joel, and it bugs me so much we'll never get to see it.

Btw, I'm working on your request, more photos of Joel torturing David's men are coming!